Happy April Fools
Lifestyle Apr 01, 2019
Rosebank Mall to be Shut down and Turned into an Office Park.
Sadly, as of June 1 2019, Rosebank Mall and all its wonderful tenants will be forced to leave its site of many years. Rosebank Mall’s owner has lost a game of cards against a building magnate.
It’s said it was the two-hand Poker game called Texas Hold ‘Em. Coincidentally, the magnate is reported to come from Dallas himself. As Rosebank has lost its rights to the property, they will be closing their doors for the last time on May 31.
We regret that all our tenants will have to find somewhere else to open shop, as the magnate, John Roberts Ewing, is planning to rent space to companies that currently only exist in the United States.
This includes gaming card collector company, Cattle Fertilizer Inc. who do not produce cattle fertiliser as the name would suggest, but Ya-Wee-Do, a children’s game where you collect little monsters and earn points to turn them into humans without any powers. Their philosophy is: “We turn monsters into people, so people no longer become monsters.”
It seems they got that the wrong way around when it comes to John Roberts Ewing.
Rosebank Management held a meeting last night, mainly to discuss the banning of playing Texas Hold ‘Em from any more company sponsored events. Gambling is a serious problem, especially when you are on a losing streak.
If you were even half convinced by that, then you’re an April Fool! This day, long celebrated especially by countries with British roots, is one where – prior to noon – you’re “allowed” to prank your friends, family, neighbours, and even the general public. Though pranks need to be careful, as not to harm the public good. For instance, pranks involving accidents and other such things are not okay – they’ve caused problems with emergency services in the past.
But harmless pranks that soon reveal themselves are definitely fine.
If you’re reading this before noon, then you still have some time to find a prank of your own. One thing you could do is visit a few of our stores.
For instance, CNA and Cardies are both novelties stores; you may find something that works well for April Fool’s Day, like a Demon Mask – and use it to hide behind a corner and “Boo!” a colleague at work!
(They can visit any of our excellent clothing stores if they need to change undergarments.)
You may also find something fun at The Gadget Shop, like a mini-drone. You can “follow” around someone in the family, as if they were being tracked by one of SA’s intelligence agencies!
There’s a lot that can be done.
Just use your imagination – and have a fun April Fool’s Day! Maybe enjoy it at Rosebank Mall – where you’re definitely not a fool for getting good deals at our various tenants.